The Orbis

Issue date: 2/27/02 Section: Undefined Section

Digital art by Matt Petty [Click to enlarge]

I'm putting myself out on a limb here when I say this: I like sex. I talk about sex. In fact, I talk about liking sex.

In saying this, I am definitely opening myself up for criticism and condemnation. I even expect it. Girls can't like sex, and if they do, they certainly can't admit it openly.

That's just how sex works: men get to talk about it in the locker room or anywhere else; women must hide it or confess it privately to their girlfriends. If girls challenge this system of double standards and talk about it openly with guys or publicly with girls, they are labeled sluts.

Now, let's talk about the word slut for a minute. We can agree on this much at least: it's definitely derogatory -- you can't be a "good" slut. Sluts are one step away from whores -- and, for those of you who use the terms interchangeably, there is a distinction.

But what exactly is a slut? Am I a slut if I like sex? If I talk about sex? If I have a lot of sex? With a lot of partners? Unfortunately, these are questions that women must constantly ask themselves, which points to a larger problem: society forces women to examine their sex lives and to act according to social standards for appropriate sexual behavior.

To be accepted, women must keep their number of sexual partners low and must be sexually discreet. Neither men nor women respect sluts, and men often think that because someone is labeled a slut, she can be used for sex. These women are "easy."

This brings up an interesting question: do guys question themselves about their number of sexual partners? Is there a sexual expectation for men in society? Sure, we have a male equivalent to "slut": the "man-whore." But no one ever takes the word man-whore seriously. We laugh at it. We even expect men to be man-whores because it's okay for them to like sex.

Not only is being a man-whore acceptable, but men also get praise for their sexual prowess from other men. Even women don't take the word seriously. Take the term "player," for instance.

Many girls do not actively pursue players, but they don't reject them if they make advances. We see players as a challenge.

Sure, they have a lot of experience, but that makes them even more desirable. Sluts, however, do not get the same consideration from guys. The guy either uses her for sex or rejects her completely.

I want girls to be able to talk about sex without the social consequence of being thought of as a slut. This is about freedom to talk openly about sex, to like it or to hate it, but at least to have an opinion about it and to express that opinion.

I want to get an equal playing field -- no gender expectations about sex. I want to talk about sex with both men and women without having people automatically assume I am "easy."

Let me make this point clear: talking about sex does not mean that we want to get laid. It is definitely not an invitation, nor is it an excuse for unwanted sexual advances. It is merely an expression of our sexuality and feelings about sex.

Girls, stop obsessing over your number of sexual partners. No arbitrary number should dictate "slut" or "not a slut." If a man's number doesn't matter, then a woman's number shouldn't either. Let's cut out the word "slut" altogether.

Page 1 of 1

Article Tools