The Orbis

Issue date: 2/27/02 Section: Undefined Section

Digital art by Matt Petty [Click to enlarge]

We are all tired of that frequently used opening phrase: "SEX! Now that we've got your attention ..." We hear the phrase all the time and, even if we don't like to admit it, it is effective. Sex fascinates people -- especially young, single people and that's absolutely natural.

Yet there are few activities that have remained more consistently taboo for single people. Why does western society as a whole condemn premarital sex, confining its mention to whispers in darkened halls among close friends? Such cultural disapproval is a residual restriction from times before effective contraceptives, a holdover from times when denouncing premarital sex was practical.

Unintentional births were once far more likely than they are today; back then, it made sense to suppress out-of-wedlock sex: you didn't want lots of babies running around without mature, committed parents to care for them. Marriage, as an institution, existed largely to ensure that children had homes. Extra-marital sex, then, defeated the purpose of marriage.

Today we have birth control pills that are 99.9 percent effective, day-after pills, and male and female condoms. Almost every gas station sells condoms. Preventing babies is easy. Today, with reasonable caution, the primary reason for condemning premarital sex - the likelihood of unwanted pregnancies -- is no longer valid.

Our culture, however, frowns upon prenuptial sexual activity, still associates chastity with virtue and still associates sexuality with sin or misconduct. Rather than contributing to the moral fabric of our society, that repression creates problems. Margaret Mead's anthropological fieldwork in Samoa during the 1920s found that parents there did not actively discourage youthful sexual activity as did U.S. parents. As a result, adolescence in Samoa was not as tumultuous as it was in the United States -- the internal chaos that torments our adolescents was nearly nonexistent in 1920's Samoa. As long as there were no premarital babies, Samoan society remained uncritical.

As long as couples prevent unintended babies, there is nothing wrong with premarital sex. I'm not saying that everyone should go out and do his or her best to get laid tonight. I'm not saying that frequent sex with sundry unknown partners is good or even acceptable. But I do not see reason to denounce what can be a harmless, not to mention fun, act between two trusting partners. Responsible premarital sex can be delightful, and its condemnation is ultimately injurious.

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